positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
