This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
