Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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