Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It was like getting head from an anaconda
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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