I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
