Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he shaved USA in his pubs
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
