North Korea, Best Korea!
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
