you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
