he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
