I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
