margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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