But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
