I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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