This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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