I'm really into asian looking animals
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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