Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
