so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
