My brain says no but my pants say off.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Pooping to opera.
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