This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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