i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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