dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
