member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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