dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
His hands were made for my vagina.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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