what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I am naked and annoyed.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize