your thong is hanging out like whoa
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He better not be in your backpack
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
