the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
