I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
