i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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