i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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