I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
