I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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