The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize