fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
