i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
