She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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