Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
