You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
