Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
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