oh god the rape fog is back!
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
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