When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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