Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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