I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
