I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
