I feel great
I just peed on a car
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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