Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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