I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
