he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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