Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I've blown a few things in my day
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize
