I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
