tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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