...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
