HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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