Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
