just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
