I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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