Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
