Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
