Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
