Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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