no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize