he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
pop tarts are not kleenex
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
