what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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