I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
