so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
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