Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
